The Grafton Gremory Connection Redux
by psycho revenant
Summary: A tortured kid gets an artificial sacred gear. After fighting a private war, he is found by Rias, safe to say, she found a dangerous servant. Self Insert, OCxHarem Rate and Review
1. Chapter 1

Intro, Cannibal Corpse- Puncture Wound Massacre

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Stab, hack, slash, kill

 _I start wrenching at my skull._

Die, butcher

Rage of hate

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Stab, hack, slash, kill

Kick down the door in barbaric rage

 _I see my brother, amidst his soldiers and start ripping towards him._

Frantically slashing all who stand in my way

Stab another face, slit another throat

My intention is to mutilate them

People are screaming it feeds my hate

Hack through the crowd blood is splashing on

my face

I only see red, rage exploding

Two knives, one mind, that hate has broken

 _The hallucinations kick in, and my eyes start glowing red._

Stabbing, disfigure, knives puncture

Blood gushing from their wounds

Rivers run deep red

Down faces of people in the room

Bodies are heaping they're dying

In seconds they were slain

Daggers in my hands are killing

This worthless piece of shit

 _I start searching for him among the corpses._

Hate for them still drives my rage

My job is almost finished only one remains

In the corner terrified behind the

grisly slaughter

 _I then notice my brother_

I'll take my time on this last scum bag

Knife in stomach, he's not dead yet

Carving up his body, gouge his fucking head

Chop off his arms, pull out his guts

No remorse for what I have done

 _Then the gremory peerage shows up, with me and Rias at the front._

Stabbing, disfigure, knives puncture

Blood gushing from their wounds

Rivers run deep red

Down faces of people in the room

Daggers in my hands are killing

This worthless pieces of shit

"Alright, next test will be in a couple of hours Jonathan, get ready." This would be the next in an eight year string of torture. After the fucker left, some dude ran in. "I don't know how much time I have left, but use this." he hands me a red and black runed crystal. "You have a couple of hours, and who are you?" "You put it inside an opening in your head, and it replaces your brain, don't worry, it won't kill you. My name is Baraqiel." I had a hole where that my right ear used to be. I insert the crystal into the hole. "Shit, this burns." My head had started to burn, or at least that's what it felt like.

I had hallucinations of all sorts of things. I saw the tortures I endured from other points of view. I saw demons screaming to avenge me. I saw a family attack two people, a woman and her child, I was extremely pissed off by this. "Hang on, who are these people?" "Those two are my family, my daughter hates me for having to go on a mission, and my wife is dead." "FUCK! Who are they, and who is attacking them." "My wife is Shuri Himejima, my daughter is Akeno Himejima, and the murderers are the rest of the Himejima family." After that, I saw a guy who looked a lot like me. "Who are you?" "I am the revenant king, Arioch, and I am the one who gave the mission to arm you to Baraqiel. Your tortures sickened me, so I killed a race of gods of evil to create this, I call it, the 'Horror Infinity', it is my masterpiece, it will be your source of soldiers, weapons, and all sorts of shit." I start smiling. Then I heard voices, they told me I didn't have much time. "Baraqiel, there isn't much time, I suggest you get the fuck out of here, and thank you for the delivery, I will try to avenge Shuri when I get the chance, that sound good?" "Fuckin' hell yeah! I will tell Azazel, maybe even get in contact with the other leaders, I will return for you my friend!" He teleported away, and I smiled, I made one hell of a friend. The fuck that was torturing me returned. "Jonathan, where are you?" I grab him by the neck, and I shout in his face. "I will fucking kill you!" I throw him into the wall hard enough for him to be splattered against it. Then I collected evidence of what was done to me.

I start destroying the place, then I blow a hole in the wall. I had my first taste of fresh air since I was 5. I see a few soldiers start searching the area. "The maruta has escaped, we have to kill him." Maruta? I notice that I had a few guys on my side. "Fucking kill them, willing to bet that my family hired them." They bombard them with mortars, the first three volleys blew them all apart. I was satisfied with that result. I found a radio, my brother was talking on the other end. "Alright Jason, it seems that the rest of you want to kill me, well I say you bastards bring the war if you have the balls!" I smashed the radio. If they want to throw everything into the meat grinder, then I would do the same. After that, I started walking through the area, and I had an army flowing through the countryside, and when the army I had went up against my sister's army, they both started ripping into each other. Kayla escaped, but not before I got the chance to shoot her in the leg with a deer slug. "I want you to tell the family, the Great Scouring has started, and none of them will survive!", she teleports out. It didn't really matter what that they would throw at me.

A couple of months later, I went from Venus, Texas, to Blackpool, England, and here's where that I got fucked. I had managed to kill both of my siblings, after which my force commander had betrayed me. I got thrown into a portal down into the corpse depths. I took a good couple of months, having to kill everything that I came across, until I found a way out, by climbing up a chain attached to a bound demon, I then found said commander, and burned her nerves with neurotoxin. Eventually, I had to come to an agreement, somehow, they resurrected dad, and he did negotiations.I had to go to Japan, I have no idea why, and in return, they would stop hunting me. Now I don't know about you, but my family are lying, psychopathic, bastards. Yeah, sure I took the offer, but I wasn't about to trust them.

After that, Baraqiel showed up. "Hey Jon!" I turn around, to notice him and some chick. "Dude, I wish you were here earlier. I had to fight out of what amounts to a mass grave." "I got you tickets to a Slayer concert." That was when I realized it was my birthday. During that concert, I had my first beer, and I got called up, I did a song I wrote (If only I actually had this down.) that I called War of Genocide. Safe to say, I really enjoyed that one. My first concert, and I already got to be with one of the Big Four of Thrash Metal.

Now I had to go to Japan, Baraqiel gave an offer of going there in a magic circle. "Ah, fuck it, I'll bite." I took the trip. I got out and threw up. "Why the hell would it do that?" "You got disoriented." "No shit, but usually this doesn't happen when I get disoriented. Anyways,where am I?" "I decided to put you in Kuoh, you'll like it here." Alright then, let's hope that this goes down well.


	2. Meeting Genocide

I was sort of just roaming around, then I found this guy fighting a couple of people. A dude tried to stab him with some sort of bayonet, but I grab him. "Fuck that!" I pull out his bayonet, then stab him in the forehead. The dude I helped pulls a guy up. "You okay bro?" "Yeah." The guy pilfers a pack of cigars from a guy. "Oh cigars, if only I could marry you." I snicker, and he turns around. "See that asshole over there, he was going to stab you, but I killed him first." He raised an eyebrow. "Did Veronica send you?" "No, I just found you, hell, I don't think Veronica knows me." "Wait, I think I recognize you." "What, did they actually broadcast the war down where you live?" "Yep, and how do you know where I live?" "Only a general area, the demons are saying your name is Xavier Genocide Nashor, one hell of a name." Apparently, he was known for destroying entire gangs at a time. "Yeah, my name is Jonathan Grafton, at this point, I guess I could be called Wargrinder, I would of used Corpsegrinder, or Angelripper, but George Fisher and Tom Such already have those." He shakes my hand. "Anyways, some guys from a gang I massacred got up here, and I'm not about to let them get out." "Can I tag along, they might be holding my friend's daughter." "Yeah dude, don't really need THAT much firepower, but you can come." After that he got a call. "Yeah, I got someone. You know that Jonathan guy, well it's him, bye." "Willing to bet that was Veronica." "Ding, ding."

We now stood in front of the warehouse that held the gang. I had been holding the perimeter guard by the head. "I gotta take a look." I sent in a ghost, she came back with info. "Yeah, the gang is there, also it seems the Gremory peerage is in there." Genocide's eyes widen. "That's the younger sister of Lucifer." I realized something as well, Akeno was in there. "Hey Genocide, should we go in there guns blazing, or should we go in like fucking serial killers." "Guns blazing."

I blow the door in with a shotgun, then toss the perimeter guard inside and shoot him, while high on speed. "This is the Wargrinder and Genocide Pay Per View, today we are going to fuck up some shitheads who have taken Rias Gremory and her peerage hostage, Baraqiel, this is for you man!" I start firing into the room while Genocide started throwing around Stygian Lightning. I tackled one of the gang members and shot him in the throat, while Genocide beat the shit out of the leader, then he tore off his head. He slaughtered the rest of the gang, and then I freed the hostages.

Xavier stayed to talk to them, while I got the hell out of there to look for more guys. "Genocide, how does your friend know my dad?" "I don't fuckin' know." I didn't bother to tell him. "Well, there isn't anyone else here, so I guess I'm done." My luck was getting better already. I then started hallucinating. "OH FUCK!" I fall back into a wall, and start clutching the sides of my head. I had to witness Demogorgon kill a demon lord, which itself wasn't bad, but I felt like I was rotting, it sucked. "Are you okay?" "Does it fucking look like it?!" Then Genocide knocked my ass out. I woke up, and I was treated to a fucking church, with 40 cultists, and 3 fallen angels. "Once I have your power, I will be noticed by Azazel again!" What the hell did I wake up to? "Kokabiel must of really fucked with you." Then I get my skull torn open, and the Horror Infinity gets extracted. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I was killed, but I was treated to the sight of Arioch shooting up the place. He blew apart the cultists, and devoured the fallen angel that murdered me, then another fallen angel killed the last two culprits. He pulls out a card, and the peerage, which now had Genocide in the mix, showed up. "I want you to bring him back." He put the Horror Infinity back into my head, then Rias pulled out a chess piece, which raised a fuckton of questions. Rias put the piece into my disemboweled chest, and uttered this line. "I am Rias Gremory, I command you to live for me." What followed my resurrection, was the loudest fucking scream heard by anyone present at the church, kind of like the one on Devoured by Vermin, if you hooked it up to the wall of death. The fallen angel that was there, apparently Kalawarner, grabs me and pulls my head into her chest, which didn't do that much. "How can he still be screaming, and that loudly, damn dude." Rias pushes my head deeper, after a few seconds it finally stopped.

"Is he okay?" Arioch, whom I forgot during my Corpsegrinder impression, responds. "If he isn't okay, I'll shoot him up with heroin, that'll help him." I had calmed down a bit, at least I was coherent. "That hurt like hell, Genocide, did it do that to you too?" Turns out, I was the only one that suffered that bullshit. "Nah, man, I don't think I ever had to feel that much pain, mind you, I was chained up and used as that dude's punching bag." "Which dude, there was 20." "You know, the leader of the group, the one I decapitated." Yeah, now I remember. "I think I can help him." Now Rias was trying to help, and I have a feeling it'll work. "I think if I sleep with him, I can stabilize him." This raised an eyebrow, both mine and Genocide's. "How the hell is sleeping with you going to stabilize me?" "Every female here knows how to do healing magic, but it requires us to be naked in order to do it." The double meaning was not lost on me, but at this point, if it would stabilize me, I would do anything. "Fuck it, if it will work, then why not?" "Alright then."

She teleports us to her house. I go into the shower, and sort of just sit down. "If one of my family comes here and fucks this up, I will rip them another asshole." At this point, someone pulls open the shower door, and I gasp like I saw the goddamn Nightstalker, outside of the angry mob the fucked him up. "Don't worry, it's me." It was Akeno. She starts washing my back, and then she asks me a question. "Jon, how do you know my dad?" "He sort of broke me out of a makeshift prison. I had been held there for 8 years, and the guy makes a run to the place. Funny thing is, he was the first guy I ever considered a friend. Anyways, Arioch gave him the weapon that replaced my brain, and I started a war against my family. I made a promise to him, I would kill the people that killed Shuri, and would try to reconcile you two." She finished with my back. "Turn around." Two words, my eyes widen, last time I heard this, I got blinded and my balls got hit with a hammer. "Not again, not after that." Apparently, she knew or something, but she turned me around. She started washing my front. "I won't hurt you, I know I can be a sadist, but I won't do that stuff to you, hell, none of us will." She grabs my dick. "But I will be doing this to you." She lays me on my back and starts giving me a handjob. To say I was not prepared for it, is a vast understatement. I literally had not felt pleasure until I broke out of the prison, and no sexual pleasure at all until now. I lasted all of 45 seconds. "Well, that didn't last long." I was breathing pretty hard after that. She held me to her, then started looking through my memories, she saw the stuff that happened at the prison, and the stuff during the war, and the betrayal of the Red Goddess. She then understood why I was afraid of her when she walked in, knife to the spine will do that. She brought me up to the bedroom I would be staying in, stripped both of us, saw the amount of scars I had, and gasped. "My Maou." "What is a Maou?" Apparently, we had the "Gift of Tongues", I didn't. "Satan in Japanese." She left, I wasn't that sure why, then Rias walked in, also naked. She puts me on the bed and mounts me. "Won't have sex with you tonight, but you will get to, soon enough." She starts putting some sort of circle on me, and I started heating up. "Akeno said that she gave you your first ejaculation, well, I'll escalate it." She starts going down on me, and I last about 20 seconds. "That tasted good, Jon, you okay?" I curled up into a ball. She moves up to where my head was, and she tried to keep me warm, for some reason I was freezing, she put me to sleep while keeping me warm, and she monitored my dreams to actually get me to stay asleep.


	3. Contracted to murderers

I got woken up by Genocide. I had a contract to complete, but the peerage held a party for the new guys. Arioch started telling some jokes, which one went from five guys extorting cash, to a 3 on 3 fist fight, all on the words "This isn't a fair fight." After the party, I had to go through orientation with Rias. I tried using the magic circle, somehow I fucked it up. I walked to the dude's house, in the snow, in a short sleeve shirt. I was shivering, and I knock on the door. I see a guy open the door, and I get stabbed, then I realized, I was summoned by Issei Sagawa, so I start pummeling him. "Fuck you and the people that let you live!" I quickly broke his jaw, and then I carve his stomach with a piece of his hinge. I bled out a little bit after. When I woke up, I summoned up Yuuto, he was shocked. "Why?" "This guy shot and ate a Belgian woman, and stabbed me in the stomach, and I fucking overpowered him." I pull the knife out, drop it, and then I try to stand. "I need help man." He just puts me in a magic circle, and somehow, it worked. "What happened to him?" Yuuto told Akeno what I said.

I had to be healed by Rias, and she finished it up pretty quickly. After that, I walked upstairs, and tried to sleep. I saw stuff from a cave fight I started. "Can't get away, fuckface!" I slam a machete guy into the ground and rip out his throat. I had cleared out the cave, but I heard something behind me. I turn around, and I get impaled, afterwards, I get wrapped in barbed wire, and my fingers get eaten. I felt all of the pain, again, but it didn't end there, I then started drowning, after that I was boiled. "AAAAAAH!" I woke up and fell off the bed. I literally couldn't breathe for some reason. Akeno pulls me up, and I was crying. Imagine, having to feel all the stuff I described, then add in the fact that I actually did start suffocating, then the back pain from the fall. She got on top of me, and started clearing my mind out. She got me to sleep, and just got me to dream about her.

I woke up and got another contract, at least it can't be as bad as the last one. I picked Genocide to go with me. We get to the house. "Check the windows; see if some shit is going on." Genocide looks, and saw a decapitated corpse crucified on the wall, and the killer was in a seat. "I have an idea, and I won't regret it, watch this." I break down the door. "KNOCK KNOCK, WHO ORDERED A MOTHERFUCKING BEATING?" The priest turns around and gets tackled, I kick him in the mouth, and then Genocide wails on him with a bat. He pulls a gun, but I break his hand to take it. "Only room for one shithouse rat." The peerage shows up, right as I shoot him in the face. "My fucking luck, a murderer, then the client gets murdered, shit." I noticed someone new in the peerage. "Who's the new girl?" "Her name is Kuroka Toujou , we saved her from being executed for killing her master to defend herself." Kuroka starts looking at me, and the demons were saying "Take her, now!" Funny thing is, everyone heard that one, the entire group stares at me in shock, I burst out laughing. "Holy shit, that was loud!" Genocide tackles me; I interpreted it as a spar. "Bring it cunt." I kick him in the chest, he punches me in the face. I went insane, and saw Jason instead of Xavier. We continued for ten minutes, both of us were bloody, but the attempted eye gouging is when I got cold water dumped on me, and I speared the offender, it was Akeno. I then realized what I tried to do, and I ran into the house and locked myself in, and started staring into a wall. Kuroka opened the door and pulled me into the hallway. "She forgave you, but what happened?" "I don't know, I started sparring with Xavier, then I saw Jason, next thing I know, Akeno is on the ground and I almost fucking killed her." She pulls my head into her chest, I was sobbing a small bit, and she found out why I would want any relative dead. She starts to pat my head. She calmed me down to the point where I could walk out. When e got home, Rias took care of Genocide, Akeno stayed in my room to make sure I didn't have another break, and Kuroka healed me. I got pulled into the bathroom by Kuroka. She started with my front. I didn't really do anything. After she got me finished up, she pulls me into the bedroom. She tries to screw me, but literally the entire population of the house decided that time to barge in. "Kuroka, what are you doing?" I start looking at Rias, with the look of "exactly what you think it looks like". Kuroka gets off of me, then I get rushed by Rias, I have no idea what they said, mostly because Arioch started talking to me, and it wasn't good. My family had started sending people down in an attempt to kill me, and I found out Genocide had a 520 million dollar bounty. I tried to sleep, but I got shaken by Rias, who apparently had decided to try and take my virginity.

This had turned into a clusterfuck, when a gray haired maid showed up. "Rias, it isn't ladylike." She didn't get any farther, both Genocide and I stare at her. "Get the fuck out of here, hag." "What did you call me?" I got up and into her face. "Hag, now take my advice before I rip out your ovaries and force feed them to you." She magic circled the hell out. "Who was that?" I was the only one who didn't know. "That was my brother's wife." "That, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She came back, Rias and Akeno had to leave for some reason. I now had to deal with Kuroka. She grabs my hips and forces me into her. "You feel that?" Last words I heard from her, I went blank, and just passed out under her.


	4. Clusterfuck Negotiations

I woke up, and I was in a room I didn't recognize. "Where the hell am I?" Rias looks at me. "The Occult Research Club." I noticed that Grayfia was here. "Why is she here?" Rias said something, but some prick teleports in midsentence. Yuuto goes, "Phenex." "Rias I have come to take you to the ceremony." I immediately stare at him, "Get the fuck away from her." He looks at me, and looks at Rias. "Rias, teach your servants to have respect for their betters." "To say you are superior is to say you deserve respect, you don't." I was told by the demons who he was, and how he was, a complete asshole, he burned one of his servants, and raped her. His sister wasn't much better, being the cunt, to Raiser being a dick. I wasn't going to hold back, question was, when do I attack them?

He gets a little closer to me, but Genocide gets in his way. "Hey, cloacasleeve, you aren't going to do that, not now." For once, Genocide is the levelheaded one. I get him out of the way, and rip into Raiser. I tear off an arm and beat him with it, and after twenty seconds, he healed and burned me. "RIAS, GET HIM OFF!" He was not able to fight back, and I get pulled off by Rias and Grayfia. "I'll have you know, I won 8 rating games, and only lost one because I let the opponent win, Rias, your peerage as it is has no chance." Genocide and I laugh our asses off. "8 rating games and you think that impresses either of us. That's insulting. You know why everyone calls Xavier Genocide? He kills entire crime syndicates by himself for fun, and all of them are more powerful than your family is." Akeno explains me to Raiser as well, that's how I realized she saw my memories, not that I minded. "Jonathan fought two wars, obliterated a race of devils, which were more powerful than the devils here, and killed his siblings, these people held the leaders of the three factions hostage. That should tell you why he is known as Wargrinder."

He summoned his peerage, and I saw the person he raped. I ran at her, and got her over to my side of the room. "Stay here." She complied, and I found out her name was Isabella. I saw the rest of the peerage, I did the Takahata laugh. "Is he laughing at us?" "Who else could I be laughing at? How could you guys win 8 fights, with a group that probably only does so when they are menstruating? You guys look like strip club rejects, pedo bait and two faggots." The girl that questioned me immediately attacks me with a staff. I grab the staff, break it, and strangle the attacker. I throw her into the crowd. "Which one of you sluts are next?" "Why are you calling them that?" Genocide responds. "He's calling them as he sees them, and they are the very cheap kind, probably carrying crabs." "Isabella, come back here, it's better than being with two sociopaths." I got pissed off, and I rushed him. "Raping a woman is far worse than being with me, you sick fuck!" I start to tear his soul out, but I got attacked by Grayfia before I could kill him. "Jonathan if you continue, I will not hold back." "I don't fucking care if you hold back or not, if you do too much, I. Will. Fuck. You. Up." I summoned a death knight, and he decapitates the sister. After that, I got punched in the gut. "Who the hell are you?" My death knight gets blown up, sending bone and shrapnel everywhere. "Issei Hyoudou, the Red Dragon Emperor." Not sure what that is. "Rias, the fuck is a Red Dragon Emperor?" "The holder of the Longinus, Boosted Gear." "Fuckin' weak." "How am I weak, I can kill gods with this." "One, get in line, a lot of people, including me, have killed gods you are far from special. Two, it take a good goddamn long time for you to do it, with your current strength, I don't think a load of people are retarded enough to let you get that much power. Three, that is not the strongest longinus, that would be the Annihilation Maker, the True Longinus is a mid-strength one, yours is a low mid. Four, there is a class of sacred gears called the Dominus class, I have the one called Horror Infinity, and it pounds the shit out of every sacred gear that is not a Dominus or the Annihilation Maker, we use gods as cannon fodder, bitch I win, so shut the fuck up." I slammed his face into my knee, and threw him at Ravel. "You can have your sex toy back. And get Isabella out of shitbird's peerage A.S.A.P." He wanted to do that to members of his peerage, well fuck him. "You can't take her away from me!" "After what you did to her? No, fuck you." I stab him in the balls with a blessed knife. "Jonathan, you are crossing a line." Genocide knocks her out with a right hook. Raiser looks up. "Did he just attack Grayfia?" "It was between that, and Wargrinder killing her in self-defense." Isabella got behind me. "Isabella, I will only say this one more time, get back in my group, before I do a repeat of last week." I stop her from moving. "Not after that stunt, she won't be going with you." He tries to set me on fire, but Yuuto throws an ice sword at him. "You attack him and I won't be liable for what he will do to you." I teleport Isabella to Baraqiel, with a message to keep her safe from the Phenexs. "I give you ten days to prepare, it will be me vs you entire group, you win, I kill you and your sister at your house, I win, I kill you where you stand." His peerage teleports out, and I punch a hole in the wall. "Why the fuck would Zeoticus marry you off to that bastard?!" Rias walked up behind me. "Don't worry; I will get us out of this." I went home, showered, ate, and slept with Rias. I had a lot of murder fantasies, I can tell you that much.


	5. Deathmatch

I woke up, and I walked out of the house. I got about 40 feet then the demons told me something. "Shit, Genocide!" I was told that he had encountered a few bounty hunters. I saw the fight, and they got teleported somewhere, so I went after them. I teleported behind an archer that was after him. "Dumbass, behind you." He turns around, I punch him in the balls, and snap his neck.

I ran down the hill he was on, and I throw the kid's corpse at the girl with the spas-12. "We need to get out of here, it's Wargrinder!" They shat themselves and teleported out. "You realize I had them Jon." "Doesn't matter, I thought they unleashed a berserker." These things where like the ones from Gears of War, add in the ability to lift the fucking Eiffel Tower, and that they can be controlled with orbs. "They don't have berserkers." "If Veronica is to be believed, then they have one, then again, we know Veronica, so I don't have a clue." She could bullshit her way out of any situation, kind of like Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, it worked for Genocide, and I had a feeling I would find out.

I got about three quarters of the way to the house, and then a car pulled up. "Kill him!" I got shot at, then I released the Hallucinations of Retaliation. "Oh god, what the fuck is tha-AAAAAGH!" the asshat gets ripped in half and eaten. I had forced half of the guys in the car to get possessed, and they went ballistic, ripping each other and the unaffected mercs apart. I saw the coat of arms, and I was livid. I know I didn't trust them, but it has been at most a couple of weeks, you would think they could wait, but no, the mauler had to be put down. I fall to the ground, and realize I was shot. I felt around my head, and the bullet was lodged in my forehead. "This is going to suck." I get an Immolith to pull out the bullet, and yeah, it sucked. "Goddammit!" I punch the ground. He pulls me up, apparently not realizing what that the Immo in Immolith meant. "You dick." I dump some water on me to put out the fire. The immolith gets killed when I dump another thing of water on him. I got to the house. Yuuto notices the wound. "Dude, what happened?" "I got shot in the face, I killed the mercenaries though." He raised an eyebrow, and walked off. "Shit, this hurts." I found some heroin, and I shot up. I started to sleep, then I heard some commotion. I saw Kuroka talking to someone. "I need to see Jonathan." "You aren't going to, he's asleep." "Wait, who wants to see me?" I walk up there, and I get pulled into the hallway and stabbed. "AGH!" Kuroka nails the douche with a fireball. I get dragged in. "Who was that?" "He was asking for you, I don't know." She starts the healing spell up. "I think he was from the same company that attacked me an hour ago." "YOU GOT ATTACKED!" "Yeah, they shot at me, got me in the head, but I possessed half of them and they killed each other." She kissed me. I had no idea what to think at that moment, but I was hearing stuff from the demons. I got a call, from a phone I didn't have. "Yeah." "Is Genocide there?" I realized it was Veronica. "I have no idea where he is, but I guess I could talk to you." We talked for about 44 minutes, I found out that she had a larger bounty than Genocide, and there was some shit stirring in the city she was in. I told her my situation, and that my family broke the treaty, to no one's surprise. She said that she would be up to where I was in a week; she wanted to watch the battle I was going to start. "Alright, bye." I had to prepare the battleground. I decided to have the thing in an abandoned city. For some reason, the match was held early. I allowed Issei to take part in the match, and I had a necromancer to resurrect most of the team when they would die, but the two Raiser and Ravel would stay dead. There were no bases, but the pawns were instant Queens. I had the entire supernatural world watching this match, which would turn into 17 counts of first degree murder, and unprecedented brutality.

I was roaming around in a bar when Mira walked in. She tries to hit me, but I break the staff and stab her in the back of the neck. I grab her by the head, "You fucked up.", smash it against the table, and stab her in the face. I stuff all the alcohol I can into a bag, then I blow up the place. One of the chainsaw twins notices me running, gets her sister and I get chased. I get into a factory, and the dumbasses follow. One of the girls runs a floor under me. "BURN BITCH!" I throw the Molotov. She starts screaming, and I grab the second one's chainsaw. She tries to force it down on my crotch, but I trip her, and bisect her.

Issei was running down the street, so I ran him over, He rips off my leg with a full boost, but I hit him with the Skull Ripping Nightmare. I get hit with a bomb, but I wasn't out, because I infuse a death knight to get an armored leg right after that. I got into a train station, then a swordswoman walked in, she challenged me. "I am Karlamine, I challenge you Wargrinder." I pull out a Desert Eagle. "En garde bitch." I shot her in the face. I took enough stimulants to wake up Trihexa. I tackled Siris into a ditch and I get in a fight. She stabs me in the face, but I force my hand into her chest and I tear out her ribcage. The cat twins ran out, and I bash their heads in with Siris' severed head. Xuelan and Isabella both try to attack me at once, I knocked out Isabella, and Xuelan got punched in the neck hard enough that I broke it. After an hour, Shuriya hit me in the balls, but I hit her with Armor Strip, she didn't care, but I hit her with the poison of Albion. Bürent and Marion tried to hit me with a car, but I blew it up. I saw Mihae before she saw me, and I shoot her with a Mauser. Yubelluna hit me with another bomb, and I hit her with the World Evisceration, her guts had went flying into the high-rise. I ran into Ravel, and I pull out the original Excalibur, and impale her Vlad III style. The devils watching were horrified. I rip her corpse off the sword. "Raiser, come on out pussy!" He runs out behind me, I stab him in the gut. "This is your execution!" I mulch him. The non bird members of the peerages get back up, or reform, in mint condition. "As you can see, the ones who were innocent were revived, but the rapist and the torturer, were not as lucky. This is why I don't have arranged marriages, take notes retards." I get teleported back, and I get confronted by the parents. "Why couldn't you revive them?" "Did you not pick up on what I called them, they didn't deserve to come back, and I easily could have, but fuck them." I got away before they could bother me more. "Hey, really impressive fight, I'm Sirzechs." I look to him, and see the male Rias. "Hey man, it would be better if they had an actual army, I do a lot better when I can deploy. Oh, do you have anything for the injuries." I was the leg had fallen off, and I had a fucked up back. He cracks open a Phoenix Tear, and I heal. "That's better." Then he looks at me again. "How do you feel about Rias?" "I feel pretty good about her, hell of a lot better than my family, that's for sure." "Do you want to marry her?" "I don't know, last time I really felt love, I got dragged off and turned into a sociopath, and I don't know if she wants me, Genocide, or Yuuto, plus, I suck at ceremonies, so she would have to take the lead."

Now I stood in front of a giant ass crowd, Kuroka was with me. "Jonathan, how do you feel after the victory?" I look at Kuroka. "Pretty damn good, compared to this morning when I got stabbed and shot." I look around the crowd, legitimately afraid that I would have to deal with one of my family. "What should the prize be?" I look at Isabella. "Her, if the Phenexs can't defend her against bastards like Raiser, than I will." That's how Rias got her first rook. Isabella runs over to my side of the room, and stands next to Genocide. Then Ruval tried to attack me. "Fuck off!" I grab him and throw him at his dad. "Try to keep him on his side of the room, unless you want to lose the last kid you have." I could tell that he sort of just shut up after that. When I left the building, I ran into Veronica. "You look like an older Akeno." She actually did. Add 5 years and the ability to make 10,000 spears at a time, and there she is. We started talking, and then Genocide saw her. She starts telling him about stuff in his city. They went off, to get the berserker apparently, and I got called by Rias. "Hey Jon, Beowulf got us a Griffin." She gets me on the thing, and I sat right in front of her. When we started flying, I had flashbacks of when I in a C-147, I got shot in the gut and thrown out. When the flashback ended, I was barely hanging on the Griffin, Rias pulled me back up, and said something, but I don't know what it was. She pushes me on my back, frenched me, and held it there for about a minute. She pulled off, and I was almost out of it. I took the last bit of speed I had with me. "That was an experience." She looked back and smiled. When we landed, I got off the Griffin, I stumbled into the wall, as you can imagine, I was in the crash stage of the speed. "Be careful Jon, don't want to fall into Kuroka." I look into Yuuto's eyes, mine were shot to hell. "Fuck you." I walk over to the bathroom with the bag of alcohol, and I fall in. I hear someone run in, and I get pulled up. I see Isabella, without the mask, and I realize she was healed. She washes me, then lifts me up against the wall. "You ready for this?" I said something, but it was incoherent. She starts fucking me. Somehow, she was able to get me to last about ten minutes, and it felt a lot better than when I lost my virginity. I grabbed onto her shoulders, "Nggh!", then I slumped. I fell asleep on the way to the bed. I started dreaming about the deathmatch, and how I could of done better. I think I could of stayed back and gunned them down, but I didn't have any Excalibur rounds for the guns. Would of wasted a lot of ammo on the two douchebags, would have been good for the gun too. I got woken up when I had to hold the celebration for Isabella. I went down, and got shitfaced.


	6. Competition

I'm fucked.

I got into a fight with Yuuto, and got stabbed in the chest. Isabella tried to talk to me, but with a blade in my lung, it went about as well as you would expect. "Jonathan, Jonathan, what happened?" I tried to say, "What do you think, damn it!" but all that came out was gurgling. She pulled out the sword, which was barbed. She went to chase the guy down, and I was left with voices telling me to die and let them kill me. (How the hell would I die twice?) Akeno came in and saw me. "What happened?" I summoned a shotgun guy. "He got in a fight with Yuuto; he stabbed him so that he wouldn't get defenestrated." He runs out, and starts shooting people, he killed three before he the guy was killed by a returning Yuuto. Akeno healed me up, and I kicked Yuuto in the balls hard enough to knock him out.

"Jonathan! Why did you do that?" I turn to Rias. "I got stabbed in the fucking chest, I feel like he owes me." Isabella runs in the room, to see Yuuto, starting to get up while holding his crotch. Akeno pulls him into another room, while I stand there like an idiot. "Oh, hey Isabella." I walked out of the room, and right into Veronica. "Well, what do we have here?" "A guy who was walking out, 'til you walled my ass." She pulls me up, then walked inside, and started talking about Genocide. I just walked out of there.

I got another contract. This time, I had a gun at the door when I opened it. "Hey, you don't need a gun, dude." I saw who it was. It was Azazel. "I want to talk about your sacred gear." I walked in, and he gave me a bottle of sake. "What is it?" I took a gulp. "Well, it was made from the corpses of evil gods, which is essentially lets me act as a bridgehead for the place that said gods created." I take another drink. "Is there a balance breaker?" "When you consider the fact that this thing lets me throw god like creatures into the meat grinder, I say it's like all dominus class gears, they literally are balance breakers in and of themselves. As far as what mine does, it gives me armor and weapons that are pretty much multiple layers of the abyss fused into an object, like a sword or gun." I finish off the bottle. He looks at me. "Nice, so what does the Horror Infinity give you." "The Infinite Layers of the Abyss." He looks again. "Anyways, that'll be the end of the contract, and here is the payment." He gave me a flash drive. "It has a giant ass collection of Death and Thrash metal albums, Baraqiel said you would love it." It was like the Holy Grail. I got back to the house. "I got a payment from Azazel." Rias looks at me with wide eyes. "WHAT!" I look back with a questioning look. "Azazel gave the contract, we screwed around, and I got the equivalent of the Holy Grail, thanks to Akeno's dad."

After my bath, which I actually got to take alone, I got told by Kuroka that I would be going to the high school with the others. With that, I went to sleep.

I woke up, and walked over there with Rias. "The new guy's with Rias, kill him!" Well, shit. "I have a feeling that they do thi- ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A FUCKING ROCK!" I got hit in the face. Some asshole tried to rush me. I kick him in the chest, and stomp his throat. The next bitch that ran at me, stopped, saw the corpse. "My god, you killed him!" I look him in the eye. "Did you need Watson's help to find that shit out Sherlock?" He ran away. "Wargrinder, did you have to do that?"

"Rias, if I didn't, then they would have continued the attack."

I went to the class with a bleeding head. "Oh god, this is going to be a pain in the ass."

"We have a new student, so give him a warm welcome." I walked in the room, Rias, Akeno, and funnily enough, Issei, were all there. After everyone quieted down, this guy with giant glasses piped up. "Why is your head bleeding?"

"Some asshole threw a rock at me, I guess that would be the kid that rushed me. He died in a few seconds." I wiped the blood off of my face, and started the intro.

"My name is Jonathan Grafton, those three already know me." I point at the three people I named.

"How do you know them?" This girl, if the voices are to be believed, was part of the kendo club, not sure if that is tragic or hilarious.

"I live with Rias and Akeno, along with a few others, and Issei was one of the opponents I had in a 17 on 1 deathmatch, two of the people stayed dead."

"You kill people?" This was going to be a while; hopefully, they don't go into shock finding out about devils, or my war of genocide.

"Well, I fought a war against the rest of my family, which went pretty well for me. I killed Issei Sagawa, and some psycho priest, both in self-defense." After that, I showed them the recording of the deathmatch. I walked out, satisfied with the shock the human students had.

"Why did you show them, you know we can't let our existence be known!"

"They already know, the war was broadcasted on CNN, I am not one to try and hide shit from other people, if you didn't want them to find out, then you shouldn't have brought me here."

Not kidding, pretty much everyone knows that I have demons at my command, which would be the first time the world had hard evidence of the supernatural, far from the last.

I had to go back to the school, apparently, it was important. I walked in; the student council was there, while my group was on the other side of the room.

"Akeno, when you told me it was important, you sounded serious. You may be the best bullshitter in the entire room." Having seen the people in the room, you could not tell me that I should care."Is this your bishop, Rias?" "Yep, he is the one that, and I quote, uses gods as cannon fodder." I was standing there, and I heard the other king start talking.

"Rias, there is a full moon tonight, but the familiar master only takes one group." "Alright, who's this familiar mas-, oh." I should have picked up on that quicker.

The equivalent of Yuuto gets Student Council Nationalism. "You Gremory sluts can't beat us." Good. God. "Do you want to fucking bet? You do realize, I could overrun the entire planet in a few minutes, right?" This dude steps back. "I can prove it." I create a few guys carrying Pancor Jackhammers. I stare him in the eyes. "Jonathan, we are here to talk, not to fight." I pull out the gun that priest was carrying. "JONATHAN!" I get pulled back by Akeno. I headbutt Akeno, and get pulled down by her. I started seeing my nephew, and I rush whoever the hell it was. "I'LL EVISCERATE YOU!" I slam into the guy, and get stabbed in the gut. "What the hell is wrong with him?" I came back to reality, and I had trashed the place. "Fuck, who stabbed me?" Yuuto raised his hand. "Shithead." I shot him with the gun.

"He'll be up in a few." I turn around, the other peerage was horrified. "What, you haven't seen a guy get shot, he tanked nerve gas, a bullet won't kill him." "Jon, that bullet was made of light." "Rias, if that was light, then what the hell hit him, that isn't how light works." I turn to Akeno. "No, Jon, we're talking about holy light." "Doesn't change a goddamn thing. Wait, what?" The demons explained to me what holy magic was, no sense, but I took it at face value. "Okay, now I get it." Yuuto gets back up. "Ta da."

After a few minutes, we had a dodgeball match. "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!" I nailed the new guy in the balls, he passed out. "Sona, avenge Saji!" Weird ass names. She threw a magically roided up ball at my sac, there was a clang. "I have chobham balls, you sons of bitches!" Sona was the sister of Serafall, and I hit her in the face hard enough to knock out a couple of teeth. "Fuck me." It would take 16 minutes for Serafall to get wind, a few seconds to get her ass up here, an attosecond to freeze off my testicles, a week to grow them back, and a year to fully recover from the shellshock.

"We fucking win!" I then beat the land speed record trying to run from a pissed off anti-continent devil. "I think I lucked ou- FFUUUUUHAHAHOW!" I got neutered. I was on the ground, and pretty sure someone has a broken window. The group ran into me, and the guys instantly cringed. "Who the fuck did this to you!" I was crying, for obvious reasons. Then I see Sirzechs start talking. "It was Serafall." He picks my head up. "I will deal with her, don't worry." He teleports out.

"My balls." I was teleported home, and immediately I was laid in the bed to start the healing process. Akeno tried to get me to stop crying, but when you lose your genitals, that shit hurts. After she got me healed, I fell asleep, then I had a night mare of a fallen angel, the psycho priest, and some old flabby bastard blowing up Kuoh like the Messines.


	7. Angelripper

Epidemic of Violence - Demolition Hammer

Flesh and steel collide

Severed remnants, disembodied veins

Brutal homicide

Bloodbath trauma, diabolic gash

Tempered alloy sledge

Bludgeoned to death in a manic rage

Massive torque condemned

Malevolent scourge, vital decrement

Epidemic of violence

Persecution reigns

Blood

Rampant siege of pain

Violent purveyors of death

Depraved reprobates

Venomous vile rampage

Lacerating horde of maleficence

Savage murderous binge

Blatant anarchy

Sadistic damage tantrum

Brute malignancy

Callous hostile attack

Strangled blue and cold

Tracheal crush victim

Respiratory death, agonized torment

Carnage dilation

Bullet-ridden dead

Ballistic lead rupture

Barbarous maelstrom of pain

Chaos dominates

Plundering rape, pandemonium

Arson escalates

Raging killing spree, vicious decadence

Epidemic of violence

Persecution reigns

Kill

Rampant siege of pain

Despiteful savagery preponderates

Viperous destruction regnant

Vigilant snipers exterminate

Staring down the barrel of a gun

Rabid vicious assault

Sordid massacre

Multiple slain corpses

Decomposed remains

Of butchered innocents

Seething heinous disease

Lethal butchery

Psychotic raving culture

Pestilence of hate

Scathing truculence

Rancorous plague of ferocity

Defenestration

Vehement contempt, sanguinary raid

Epidemic of violence

Persecution reigns

Death

Rampant siege of pain

"You have got to be kidding me." My mother had moved into Kuoh, and if she wasn't there to take _me_ out, then _some poor bastard_ has info she doesn't want getting out. Akeno saw what I was looking at, and she reassured me. "If she is here for you, we will keep you safe." At this point, I don't know if the group can. Karla beat Kokabiel within an inch of his life, that will give you an idea of how she took him hostage, I'm legitimately surprised she didn't kill him.

"Jonathan, there's a couple of exorcists that are coming to Kuoh, do you want to help with negotiations." I back up a bit and start grabbing the sides of my head. "GAAAH!" Here's what happened last time I had ran into exorcists, I was clearing out this giant fucking parking lot. The church, in their very limited wisdom, had gotten a hard on at the idea of bagging the guy that killed God, not that anyone else knew that at the time. So here I am, burning through ammo because, I swear to Michael, I saw a fireteam running at me. Somehow, the exorcists got through the wall of fire, and I managed to get sodomized with a meathook. After a couple of minutes of this oddly sadistic torture, the woman who did this got a chunk of concrete jammed into her throat. Weirdest fight I had in the war.

Rias managed to drag me over to the school, and the group was already there. The group was told by one of the Impalers that I had committed deicide, then he showed them that battle. God tried to kill me with angels, which I zombified, and I ended up swinging his head by his hair.

"Jonathan, the exorcists are in the room, stay calm." "Alright Rias, I'll try." I noticed that this nun was in the room, and apparently, she was declared a heretic for being able to heal a devil, specifically, Diodora Astaroth, and I need to kill that guy when I get the chance.

"THEY MADE YOU GUYS WEAR LATEX? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The slut jokes I could make right now, I would probably be killed for some reason. "Why is he laughing at us?" I just point at one of the two. "Okay, what does the church want with me this time?" The girl with blue hair then tells us this. " Two of the Excalibur pieces have been stolen." "Why do you think-" Rias got about that far before I cut her off. "Yes, the ripoff Excaliburs are here. Yes Michael is too much of a pussy to come down here and grab them himself. Yes you are going to be killed if you chase them. No, we aren't working with the guy, I am enough crazy for the peerage to have their fill." Both exorcists make their eyes widen to saucers. "And before you go on a rant, I killed God." "HERETIIIIC!" She tried to bisect me with her Destruction, since I graduated from the Abyssal Academy of Not Giving a Fuck at summa cum laude, I ate the damn sword.

"What!" You could not sell the faces the group made, you would lose far too much. "There's some proof, you would think he would of put _some_ power in that thing." "Jonathan, how did you do that?" I pull out the diploma. "That's how." Now she was trying to threaten the nun. "FUCK YOU!" She tried to kill her with her Durandal, but I punch her in the face, and bite out her tongue. The nun heals her. "Try to pull that shit again, I FUCKING DARE YOU!" Kuroka pulls a rabid me away from Xenovia, and Xenovia starts talking to Rias.

"I guess we can sort of work together, but your bishop, keep control of him. He's too volatile." "Do you really think controlling him will do anything? you attacking the nun probably would have started a war between Heaven and the Abyss!" I left shortly after that. I got in a fight with the other exorcist, and Kiba tried to fight, but he got reamed. I, on the other hand, took her out with a blindside. (For those of you that saw the Alvarado Freshman playoffs, the real me got taken out the same way, only this me didn't get the entire football team to nearly kill him, play 104, Jonathan's Murder, play 105, Grafton's Vengeance!)

I noticed that the psycho priest had showed up again. "Found you, shitty devil!" "How the hell are you alive?" He stabbed me with an Excalibur. "What?" I tear off his leg. "Run bitch." Suddenly, Kokabiel the fucking dracula and Valper show up. I bash in Freed's head. "Wargrinder!" I duck, and Karla's soldiers start fighting Kokabiel. "Come on, you big bald fuck!" Valper and Kokabiel teleport out, and I was left with the enemy soldiers.

"We have orders to brin-" I shot the guy in the face with the priest gun, right after that, I got shot the hell away. I literally got an arm blown off. "ALRIGHT, LET'S DANCE!" I ripped the first guy in half, then pulled a thermobaric grenade off his corpse and blew the last two into smithereens. "That bitch sent three? Now that's a really good insult." I then got a report from the Impaler, Kokabiel had summoned some Cerberus, and is trying to nuke the city. "Let's make myself known."

While the group was fighting the vampire asshole, I possessed myself. Right after the Demon Committee had taken control, I was looking like a victim in Rwanda. "KOKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" **A.N.: Imagine the vocalist for Wargrinder on Seal of Genocide.** He looks at me, and I blast all of the dogs away with a spirit of annihilation. "HAHA! OUR HOST EVISCERATED GOD, YOU'RE NEXT ON HIS LIST, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I pull out a rune sword, and I stab him in the back, breaking his spine. Then an ape head pops out of my shoulder. "Kiba, kill Valper, it would do your late friends a favor." I spawn a few liches, and they incinerate Kokabiel, Kiba pulls out his Sword of Betrayer, and guts the fatso. Then this guy with white wings came down. "Wee bit late, don't ya think?" He was surprised. "Azazel sent me to get Kokabiel, I didn't expect him to be killed." My eyebrows raise to Dwayne Johnson levels. "The Deicide is here, how did you not expect that?" Then Issei pops up. "Oh, if you want to start off your dick measuring contest, try it in North Korea, not here." Anyways, Vali left the place, then one of my nightmares appeared.

"YOU BASTARD!" I ran at Serafall, and got a couple of punches in before I was pulled back by Sirzechs. "JON, Jon, stay back, I need you to calm down." Sona decides to ask what the hell I was doing that for. Then Kiba walks up to her. "Remember the dodgeball match?" "Yes." "Well, Wargrinder ran like hell after that, but Serafall froze off his balls." At first, Sona was shocked, then she had her first look of genuine remorse. While she was doing this, I was trying to rip Serafall an entire new reproductive tract. Eventually, Arioch takes the heroin he mentioned and shot me up with it. "That feels…" I fell back and looked in the sky. I was picked up by Genocide. "Okay, now that the shitfaced dracula is dead, we gotta get the hell out of here before he mulches the overpowered ice addict." I got teleported back to the house, and guess what rotting cunt was waiting there, my mother.

"JONATHAN, YOU OWE ME YOUR LIFE!" She rushed me. For a woman in her mid 40's, she was fast. Remember when Akeno promised to protect me, well, I wasn't sure where they were. "You think I owe you? Bullshit." I punch her in the stomach, then she stabbed me in the throat. Said knife got crushed when I forced my head down. "How are you alive?" I respond by trying to nail her with an eldritch obliterator, she kills the thing, blinds me, and rips my arm off. "A thabhairt motherfucker sé" I don't know what she was going to do, but I heard the scream of the bitch, and a massive amount of the following. Power of Destruction attacks, gunfire, light spears, lightning attacks, fireballs, sword clangs, Ruin the Extinct shotgun blasts, frantic screams of "BOOST!", and the ice that froze off my balls. "JONATHAN!" I heard the temporary firing squad scream when they saw my borderline corpse. Once they managed to heal me to where I could see, I saw Akeno crying. "I promised him I would protect him, and I couldn't even do that!" I tried to walk over to her, but I fell. "Shit!" I got up, and finished getting to Akeno. "Hey, I don't blame you." I put my remaining arm around her. She starts to cry into my shoulder. "Never thought I would be the one being used for a shoulder." She finished after around a minute, and looks down at me. "Thank you." She smiled, then kissed me. I walked over to the corpse, and started beating it up. "You like that, you piece of shit?!" Once the thing was reduced to a bloody paste, I calmed down. "Alright, we gotta get in the house before another guy tries to kill my ass." I get pulled in the place by Akeno, and took a bath with her.

Once that I was set in, she realized something. "Oh shit, I forgot your arm!" "Wait, I want to try something." I haven't tried infusions in a while. I get the arm of a carnage demon put in. "SHIT!" She grabs my arm and puts it above my head. She starts to ride me, which somehow stopped the pain in my new arm. Looking into her eyes, she had some predatory look, and I was slightly unnerved by it. "Ha! Are you scared?" I nodded when she said that. "Well, I won't be the sadist towards you, my allies are safe from that side of me." She starts leaning into me, until her breasts were against the sides of my head. Only thing I could really do was lay on my back. Eventually, I started moaning. "Well, looks like I found a good way to calm you down!" She felt like she tightened a little bit, and that sent me over. "Oh god!" She held my head into her chest, and once I finished, she got me dried up. I haven't eaten in about four days, so I ate like it was the first time I had food. I went to bed a little bit after that, and Rias got me to sleep.

 **Here's what happened. Play 104 was going to be my first run in my football career, Wednesday was my first touchdown, which had a HUGE celebration, but I never got an actual point (Wednesday was always scrimmages amongst ourselves.) Anyways, I was pretty good with hitting people, applying my Strong Guard experience. Play 104 was going to be my best play, with Ian(One of our QB's.) saying, "JG, be ready." It was a play where I ran six yards, stopped, caught the ball, and ran like hell. When I was on the line, the play started, and I did what I was supposed to do. Next thing I know, I get blindsided, and I couldn't breathe. Then the loudspeaker or whatever it was said this. "#80, Jonathan Grafton, missed the attempted pass." I get taken off the field, and Coach Dixon organized my revenge. He goes to Rhett Carrier, the tallest guy, probably on any of the football teams, and says this to the team. "See #32, murder him." This was going to be awesome. The guys line down, and when the play started, Rhett kicked his ass!**

 **Rhett grapples him immediately, starts face masking him, and when he got close enough, he fucking** _ **throws**_ **him into our sideline. The players moved on him like an angry mob. They start beating on him, hell, I got a couple of hits in, and I shout "YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!" After a while, they got him out of the mosh pit, and he was** _ **destroyed.**_ **Coach Burns was pissed off, and said, "That's not how we play Alvarado football!" Burns, that's how we all play football, especially when shit like taunting a guy you took out happens, you're lucky we didn't break something on the kid. I found out that the play was removed from Hudl, which sucks all kinds of dick. Anyways, after the game, which we won, I had this as the breakdown. "Vengeance on three, 1, 2 3, VENGEANCE!" I got some pictures with my friend Jake Mccullough, and on that Friday, I saw 104 from the cameras, the guy pretty much popped up.**

 **We won every game on the High School field, we were undefeated in district, we went 7-4.**


	8. Hemorrhaging The Himejimas

Ravenous waves attack,  
drawn by the scent of life  
Fever for our blood

Instinct rules this mass, ruthless living sea  
Devouring

Countless vermin gnashing at my face  
Tear meat from my skull  
Swarming, rabid, features are erased  
Unrecognizable  
Body covered, rat filled innards  
Shred internal organs  
Heart and lungs consumed from inside but my  
pain doesn't end  
I have not died

Devour, cesspool of vermin  
Devour, bloodthirsty rabid  
Devoured by vermin

Resistance now gives way,  
the rodents freely feed  
Tearing at my skin  
Muscles are exposed, shining red with blood  
Meat that they seek

Crawling rodents gorging on me  
Repulsive starving droves  
Shredding, stripping, consuming all I was  
Tissue pulled from bones  
Dying slowly, feeling every fang  
Shock has yet to come  
Scavengers tear out my eyes  
My pain won't end, I have not died

Devour, cesspool of vermin  
Devour, bloodthirsty rabid  
Devoured by vermin

Ruthless gnawing vermin - feed  
Cleaning off my bones while I breathe  
Stenching greasy rodents - swarm  
My body is losing its form

 _[Lead - Owen]_  
 _[Lead - Barrett]_

Devour, cesspool of vermin  
Devour, bloodthirsty rabid  
Devoured by vermin

"Wha-" I was hanging from a chain. I couldn't see from my right eye, but I was looking down into a vat of water. "See this boy, he has killed millions of people!" Since when have I fought enough people to do that? "And we get to execute him today." SHIT! The chain was cut or something, because I fell about 15 feet.

Right as I landed, they threw in some sort of cord, and it fucking hurt. "We didn't have an electric chair, this is the next best thing." The entire time, I was thrashing around. "AAAAGH! YOU FUUUUUUUUUCKS!" I felt something hit me, and I was now in the bedroom, but I was still being electrocuted. Rias grabbed me, and I felt a brand on my arm. "GET THE FUCK AWAY!" I slam into the wall, and I fell on my stomach. I hold my arm, and stop moving. Rias tries to hold me again, and the pain vanished. "What happened?" She put me back on the bed. "I got fucking Tango and Cashed." The door opened, Genocide and Kuroka ran in. "What the fuck dude, you woke me up!" Rias stares holes into him. "Oh, shit man." The two walk out, wouldn't be surprised if someo- yep, in comes Isabella. "Let me have him." Rias starts getting possessive. "No, not now. I have to try and calm him, he's still shaking." She uses her magic again, and I started to go down from the rush.

"Okay, you can have him." Isabella stands me up, and pushes me against the wall. She starts kissing me, legend has it I still don't understand women. Once she finished, she told me this. "I still owe you." She starts walking away. "Goddamn." I had to go to school, so Akeno went with me.

"Hey, Akeno." "What?" "Do you know where your family is? I need to hold up on my promise to Baraqiel." I had to kill the bastards that attacked the family. "A few miles south of here." Once the day ends, it'll be a metal massacre.

We got into gym class, and it was boxing, bare knuckle. I went up against Kiba "Dude, this'll feel like having sex with Kuroka, minus the pleasure." "Of course it would, torture whore." I took exception to that. I punch him square in the throat. "YOU CUNT!" I hit him in the gut, knock him down, and start pounding his face. When I was sure I won, I let off him. "Call me that again, and I will put you through another Holy Sword project." He stayed on the other side of the gym after that.

I got in a fight with the Kendo club. Issei got abandoned by his friends, and these bitches come for him. "GET THE PERVERT!" I ran at them with a Pecheneg, shot at them, and knocked a couple out. Issei ran off, surprisingly not trying to use his Boosted Gear.

I went over with Akeno to the Himejima's little "compound" The old fuck ran out to me first. "We told you not to come back!" He tried to attack Akeno, but I stop him. "Fuck the hell no." I blow off his arm, and send in a horde of Skaven. "See this shit? This is what you tried to do to her! This isn't even counting Shuri!", then I started singing Thrashaholic by Morbid Saint. "Jon, don't kill him!" I then did what I tried to do to Raiser, but I succeeded. There were 317 people in that building, from 3 weeks old, to the 142 year old I'm about to kill, no survivors.

I smashed the fucker into the ground, and called Baraqiel. "The dead have been avenged." Then I hung up before he could say anything. "Jon, I told you not to kill him." "I know, I don't give a shit, I owed your dad!" "I wanted to let him live with the pain of loss." "Loss, LOSS? Come on Akeno! I have him in super hell, you really think a guy dying is worth shit against that?" She nailed me with lightning. "What the fuck Akeno?" "You. Killed. My. Grandfather." "Yeah, I know, did you really have to do that? He's the rough equivalent of Albert Fish, you think I could resist killing the sick fuck?" I was slightly unnerved, mostly because the fucking shock therapy, _again._

When we got back, Rias checked me, not even two seconds after I got on the couch. "We had an agreement with the Hime-" "You what? Rias, why the hell did you do that?" She look slightly pissed, but she wasn't going to try to spank me again. Last time she tried that, she went flying headfirst into a wall.

I found out the circumstances under the agreement, and she didn't expect to be getting a vigilante in her peerage, strange, I fight wars over things that normal people only go to prison for, and she didn't expect me to massacre the bastards. When she made sure that the demons weren't fucking me up, she had an announcement.

"There's a full moon again, let's go get our new people some familiars!" We went to the familiar forest, and I found out about everyone else's.

Rias's familiar was a round bat, which could turn into a woman, no shit.

Akeno had six goblins.

Kiba, well I never saw him, but if I find out it's Conan the Barbarian, I will laugh my ass off.

Technically, I had the demons as familiars, but they count as my soul, since mine is now dead.

We got past the guy that was a "Familiar Master", and immediately, I talked to Genocide. "How much do you want Tiamat?" "Oh, that sounds awesome." I went running for the ripoff Tiamat, the real one had five heads, not one. "HEY, BITCH!" The dragon turned around, and was stopped. "I need you to become Genocide's familiar." She ran off before I brought the _real_ Tiamat down on her, a dragon and a hydra on their period, not good.

I ran into fuckin' Echidna, got her in, and then ran into a real fun one. This guy was a living Dominus, pretty much the 2008 John Keville. "Holy shit!" The guy was the wielder of the Infinite War Machine, which means that I now have a good opponent! "Want to come with me, I would rather not be the only madman in my group." Hilariously, that worked!

I got back to the group, and everyone's reactions were of pure shock. When you have multiple nuclear deterrents in the same place, that's pretty much the entire reaction set. "Jon, what did you do?" I smirked. "Well, I threatened to bring down my version of Tiamat if she didn't join Genocide, and I don't know how I got everyone else." "Um, okay then." We had to get back to the house.

Now that we were at the house, Veronica showed everyone the berserker she had helped Genocide capture. She decided to use me as a target, and I was knocked out by a curbstomping.

"Jon, wake up." I was now looking up at Veronica, and John was laughing the entire time. "Dude, she tried to spear you, and the spear fuckin' broke!" I laughed as well. I get yanked up by her. "We have a peace conference to go to tomorrow, be there." When Veronica left John said this. "So the brassholes have finally started trying to get peace, Khaos Brigade will try to pull a shitshow." "Oh, the terrorists?" "Yep."

Rias now had me in the bedroom, and had a question. "What's this Khaos Brigade I heard about?" "Terrorists, very ineffective terrorists. Led by, okay, formerly led by some dragon. Now led by the Old Satans, since you guys evidently don't know how to kill. They want to unleash the goddamn Trihexa, I say fuckin' bring it." She was trying to wrap her head around that. I tried to not laugh. "Oh, tell your brother that those assholes are going to try and fuck up the conference, they have a double, and I know _exactly_ who it is. My words." Thanks to John and Yeenoghu, I knew every shithead in the organization, not like they're smart enough to keep radio traffic encrypted. "Tell him, leave the old satans to me, I want to prove why that I'm the only one that fucks with me." "Tall order, but okay." Oh the irony, the servant, ordering around the "master", fun shit. Rias backed me into the bed. "Remember when I brought you and Genocide in?" Ah yes, the Dark Age. "Not really, it's been a while." Being shot in the face will do that.

"Hmm, well, I promised to take your virginity, but Kuroka got that first. So I made this spell." I then saw 14 magic circles, and was blinded by the red. When I could finally see again, I noticed something. "Why the fuck am I _5' fuckin' 4?_ " I was 5'11, and I lost seven inches. "I made you, well, younger." _How, and why?_ "I restored your virginity, and now, I will take it." How any of this works, don't care anymore. She pins my arms against the bed. "Oh, you won't need these for a while." You know how Issei has the Dress Break, and I have the Armor Strip? She has that too. "WHAT HAPPENED!?" Since I was younger, apparently, I now had my old wounds freshened up, couple of holes in my chest, and they were bleeding. "Okay, now I can say I healed you." Still pinned to the bed, she inserted me. I started to moan a wee bit. "HA!" She started to speed up, which got me to stare into her eyes. She went from being on her knees to on her chest. "If you don't fall asleep, I can keep going for a couple of hours." Well, I can't do the same. Now, the way it felt with Kuroka, that was nothing. I went blind for a couple of seconds when I came this time. "That felt awesome!" Famous last words. I have no idea why I couldn't move my legs, but they felt like someone had shot them. "My legs, fuck!" Rias used the healing magic again, and she got a blanket over us.

"Jonathan, would you marry me?" Well, I need to think on that, fuck this, I need sleep. I try to doze off, and she kept me up. "You won't sleep until I get an answer." "Get me my couple of years back, and I will." Poof, I was now at my old height, without the bleeding. "I dunno, I probably will, but I have no idea how to go about it, plus there's the whole "entire underworld gets pissed off, and tries to take me out.", which I am not about to deal with." This isn't the WWF Hardcore Championship, I would rather not have a constant stream of enemies, my demons, however, do. Rias removed whatever was acting as an insomniac, predictably, I crash and burned.


	9. Satan Breaker and the Death of Arioch

**Lich King- Stalemate**

 **And in time, the shell of Earth  
Continues to rattle with war**

 **Dead world under a dead sky  
Nothing here worth fighting for**

 **Five point four billion years  
of unending battle and siege**

 **Unrelenting and immortal  
Triumph remains out of reach**

 **All the horizon is filled with an eye  
which watches, unblinking and red  
Swollen, distended, the giant grows larger  
and brushes the exosphere's edge**

 **The two last things in the world,  
so consumed with the fight, fail to notice the sun  
has eclipsed all the sky with its solar flares skirling  
Earth's final hour has come**

 **War wages on**

 **The corpse lord, the Lich King  
grows weary at last of the game**

 **Grasps the nature of stalemate  
Victory cannot be claimed**

 **The Nucleomancer  
too young to be bored with the bout**

 **Goes on, unthinking,  
Not knowing his enemy's doubt**

 **The King forms an idea while the  
fireballs burst and the acid rays sing through the air  
A lateral plan for a straightforward monster,  
foe must remain unaware**

 **Waiting for a fury from the solar storm  
He will take wounds and seem to fall  
And, once seeming defeated, will melt  
off and find the true way to destroy every thing,  
one and all**

 **The sun, dying  
The land, cracked  
The living, long vanquished  
The sky, black  
The storm thunders  
The fire descends  
The foe, unmindful  
The King will now transcend**

 **One final volley  
**

I was woken up, not by anyone we've seen up to this point, but something I dubbed the 'Giant Goddamn Spearman'. I got out of bed, and started beating the absolute shit out of him. "Jonathan, who's that?" I turn to Rias. "No fuckin' clue." Said spearman had been annihilated at this point. Rias had teleported the group over to the meeting place, and I discovered one of the knife nuts had been added in. "Shit, when did she get in?" Xenovia had been put in our group, and the conga goes on!

The meeting had started, Azazel and I had the same general poster. "Okay, as I can see, this shit has finally dropped from failed peace, to actual peace. The vast majority of your leaders wasted each other, so fucking do it already!" I look to Vali, and give him the evil eye. We both knew why. So they start going through the process, and I dozed off. When I woke up, I realized the attack started. I opened a window, and saw, okay, what the hell are these guys? "Rias who th-" I turned, and she was stuck in place. Ya fuckin' kidding me? I walk up, and throw myself through a window. Everyone starts looking at me, and I have the slasher smile. I summoned the following generals and their armies. Alonzo Shaw, Unberg-Sternberg, and Winter. I turn to them and I shout at the hordes.

"WASSUP, MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!" The yell I got in response was one of approval. "YOU SEE THESE CUNTS, THEY WANT TO FUCK WITH US!" Different yell, some shouted "What the hell?!", so I issued the sentence. "LET'S TEAR THEM TO FUCKING PIECES!" The armies immediately started to attack the retards, you can see how this will end. After tearing the tendons out of a wizard, I ran at Vali. "I don't forget, asshat!" He teleported away, and my blood started boiling. I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder, and I saw Rias.

"What's happening?" Alonzo spears me. Rias, predictably, prepares her Destruction magic. "You guys won? Holy shit!" I couldn't kill two people in the time it took to waste the assault force. "Rias, this guy is one of the more human soldiers in my army." I turn to Alonzo. "Alonzo, meet the person that brought me back into this planet, Rias Gremory." They shook hands, and I saw a new target. "Watch this." I ran to the building.

I was now looking at one of the satans' kid. "Let me guess, Leviathan?" She threw some sort of snake at me. "Out of a few million sperm, how the hell were you the winner?" That snake she thrrew has attached to me. "Zazel, was there something I missed?" "She went on a rant." I turn to the Leviathan whore. "I don't care if I have to die, I will kill you all!" Then I had a thing click. "Here's a translation, ALLAHU ACKBAR!" I pulled her in, and jammed a knife in her cunt. "Fuck you!" I slammed my head into her, and she was obliterated. "Damn, Jon!" I bend my head back, and burst out laughing.

My guys had gone back into the Abyss, and I was standing in front of everyone. "First question, how did they freeze you guys?" As far as I know, they don't have any sort of stasis magic. "They stole Gasper." "Okay, who's Gasper?" Genocide walks up to me. "The Vladi kid she's talking about is her other bishop." "I thought I was." Zechs had now started up. "No, Rias used both of her bishops when she brought back Kuroka and Gasper, the piece you are is what I like to call the auxiliary piece, it is the only piece capable of reviving Dominus organisms." Holy shit.

I found out the location of the kid, and I stormed the place with Hellbringers, and we got the kid out with two deaths. When I looked at the kid, I had one thing to say. "Oh look, we have a crossdresser, I need to have a word with Rias after this." I teleported to Genocide. "Dude, the kid doesn't look like a dude." I then proceeded to wipe the image from my mind.

Isabella had found Gasper, and she was somewhat shocked when I told her what she was holding. Akeno then found him, and presumably locked him in her room, because Rias couldn't find him, until I heard a scream from Kiba. When he walked in, I laughed at him.

"So, that's all of the guys that have found him. Rias, you sick fuck!" Still laughing, she comes down from wherever she was, I don't know. She immediately tried to discipline me, yeah, govern what can't be governed, why don't ya!

"One thousand." She hasn't learned, I had Arioch explain exactly why it wasn't a good idea to try and spank me, including the fact that I already threw her into a wall for it. When Rias had gotten that drilled in, everyone went off to their beds, I took the couch. "Probably not a good idea to try and piss off Rias before sleeping with her, her brother may actually find it hilarious." I crashed.

I don't know how long I was out, but I heard a scream. "Shit, Gasper!" I got off the couch, and ran as quickly as I could up the stairs. I knew where Arioch was, so I got to his room, what I saw when I got inside, well, it was time to kill a warlord. Here's what I came in on. Arioch was standing over Gasper, Gasper was bent over, bleeding from what I guess would be his ass, Arioch was now looking at me, and I went berserk. "YOU FUCKING PEDERAST!" I literally threw him out a window, and went after him. I had gotten shot a couple of times by him, and I responded with a flying skull made of acid, witch hit him.

Song: Bestial Warlust- Storming Vengeance

"Come on, you bastard!" He grabbed my jaw, and lost all of his fingers in the process. I brought up a few Armanites to impale him, but he beat them to a bloody pulp. "Wargrinder, is that all you can think of? I wonder why I gave the Horror Infinity to you." I jammed the priest gun into his crotch, and shot him until the trigger broke. "Doesn't hurt, torture whore." Yep, he's not coming back.

He had bitten me, and he threw a few hundred revenants in my way. Before I had summoned a warlord, Issei made an appearance, along with what was now his peerage. "You dick, you woke- wait, what's happening?" I look to him. "Internal conflict, you guys don't need to worry." I turn back to the company of revenants, and threw some cenobites at them. "Rip them up, Channard." The revenants threw themselves at the group, and got massacred. I killed the cenobites before they could go off and kill the populace. "Oh, did you see a guy that looks kind of like me go anywhere? This cunt raped one of the peerage, and I don't intend on him finding a demongate." He pointed behind me. "Oh hell no."

I'm pretty sure he got back to Rias. I teleported into the basement, and found him there. I stabbed my hands through his back. "You will never be revived." With that, I ripped his torso in half. I fell back against the wall, and tried to catch my breath. Kuroka had picked me up, and I fell asleep on the way to wherever she was taking me.


End file.
